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Fair skinned girl experiences difficulty buying bathing suit

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Eighteen-year-old, Melissa Macias (pictured on right), was recently trying on bathing suits at a local mall to prepare for summer; however, she realized that she had become so pale during the winter season that she was unable to see her own reflection in the mirror. She told sources that, at first, she thought she had died and turned into a ghost. After attempting to exercise her rights as a ghost and scare local mall patrons, mainly by saying “boo” and making “ghost-like-sounds,” her friend (pictured beside Ms. Macias) told her that she was not in fact a ghost, but just fair-skinned.

Ms. Macias told sources that although she believed her friend, she continued scaring mall patrons and dragging around a set of chains from Sears just in case her friend was wrong and/or for preparatory measures should she turn into a ghost in the future. Until Ms. Macias receives an adequate tan, she is only able to be seen in photographs in which she is pictured against a dark background (e.g., on left pictured against a dark blue ocean – DO NOT BE ALARMED, Ms. Macias has legs and a lower torso, they are just impossible to see against the white colored boat).

 

How are we doing?? Let us know and we’ll let you buy us something!!

 

 

 

Image source:
retiring” by The College Prepster. This was not altered. June 28, 2011.

 

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39 replies

  1. Hahahaha! Coolest blog EVER!!! Reminds me of the Indian version of Faking News. You rock :)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you :) But we disagree, you rock more than us. And Faking News seems to be our long lost Indian sibling. A family reunion seems to be in order.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh an Indian family reunion with potatoes. Now THAT is a match made in heaven! Bollywood style ;) Thanks for the compliment but honestly, I don’t think anything could rock more than potatoes, I’m just saying.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Good point. Potatoes are pretty fucking awesome. Let’s get that family reunion on the books!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Okay, I’ll organise the invites. You can organise the food, just invite some family members I guess ;)

        Liked by 1 person

      • Awesome! We have 39 cats and 4 donkeys, so remember to send them invites as well. As for the food, we were thinking of the following items: Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes

        Like

      • Man, I love the way you think, plus your superior use of “Copy & paste”. That’s fine, they’ll make a nice addition to my 37.5 racoons, 6 peacocks & 9.25 crocodiles. I’m not sure if we’ll need to do a head count once the party’s over though.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh yeah, copy and paste is our bitch. I think we found the other half of your raccoon on our way home from work yesterday. Also, maybe your 1/4 of a crocodile can become friends with our 1/16th of a butterfly. Oh and don’t worry, we haven’t forgotten about your Narnia question :)

        Like

      • Firstly, thank whatever powers that be, because I was just about to haul my Narnia cupboard out the door because the freaky zombie neighbours I have are looking for a new crib, I’ll just steal it back in the morning when they go back to their graves for the day.

        Secondly, thanks for finding the other half of my racoon, I was wondering where he had gotten to and was looking for him. Okay, that’s a lie, an even number at the dinner table was making portion divisions a lot easier so I was telling his friends their racoon compatriot had gone away to candy floss land and was having too much fun there to come back.

        My crocodile is also going through a bad break at the moment, so I would love to introduce him to your 1/16th of a butterfly but I better get him glasses before that coz he is painfully short-sighted.
        :)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You Really are the Cat’s Potatoes! Err, You know what I mean.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s a pity but the sun is not a friend to light skinned ladies ( or to anyone these days).

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    POOR GIRL…TELL HER TO CONSULT A GUY…THEY CAN SEE ALMOST ANYTHING…ESPECIALLY IF A GOOD-LOOKING GIRL IS INVOLVED!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for following The Upsizers!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. As a Canadian and a life-long resident of the Great White North I can easily understand and relate to the issue of a whiter shade of pale.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It is a shame that it isnt popular to be fair skinned, like it was i Victorian days-then, it meant you were wealthy and didnt have to work out doors. Oh, well. We are who we are.beebeesworld

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Being pale is just not “in” like it was in Victorian days when it proved you didnt have to work. Thanks for reading my block. I will follow your blog and hope you will follow mine beebeesworld

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ha ha-awesome post! I too come from the clan of the fish belly white skin coloration! Thanks for liking my landspeeder post!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. She does look poorly….

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I look just like her. At 57, though I learned that beauty is truly only skin deep–and that some of mine needed to be cut off because of melanoma. Now, pasty white = healthy in my mind. Be careful what you wish for!

    And thanks for the follow!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Vampire – soppy cow is a vampire! Ghost? Rubbish – great post by the way!

    Liked by 1 person

    • OH MY GOD YOU’RE RIGHT…how did we miss that?!! And you’d think her biting my neck and draining blood would have been a huge giveaway :) and thanks for compliment, we would like to return the complement and say that you look really great today! Yep, that’s us staring at you from behind the bushes.

      Like

  13. As someone who shares Ms. Marcias’s problem, I can, in fact, say that people will think she is a ghost.

    Possible side effects include owning larger homes at bottom of the line prices, and priests throwing water on you.

    Liked by 1 person

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