Long time marathon runner, James Hunt, told sources that he is “constantly being followed” and that he is “becoming more and more scared for his life.” A spokesman for the police department stated that they are taking Mr…. Read More ›
Welcome to our Headlines section, where the news stories are quick and dirty. Are you an overachieving reader? Do you hate this section for absolutely no reason? No sweat, visit our Articles section!!
Sources reported that Phil Robertson from A&E’s popular show, Duck Dynasty, recently discovered what appears to be a small child hidden in his overwhelmingly large beard. Experts speculate that this male child is four years of age and was able… Read More ›
Local sources recently reported that Danielle Jacobs, also known as “the lonely depressed woman in her mid-fifties who has a lot of cats and no life,” just ran out space on the rear windshield of her minivan. Ms. Jacobs… Read More ›
Sources have just reported that a local man declared his 2015 New Year’s resolution, which is to keep his New Year’s resolution. Image: “Bing.com images“
Sources reported that a local ice cream man recently divulged disturbing news to nine-year-old Trent Wilson. Apparently, he told Trent that each of the six colors of his favorite Fruity Pops all taste the same. Trent later told sources that his world pretty… Read More ›
Contrary to Coca-Cola’s popular commercials, a recent study demonstrated that polar bears actually prefer fresh blood from a recent kill to a bottle of Coke. After presenting the polar bears with either an injured seal or a refreshing bottle of… Read More ›
Woman with cricket chirping ringtone triggers three-month subway closure to fumigate for crickets. Image attribution: “Flickr Ed Yourdon“
Despite receiving no response, a local man at the zoo continues to plead with a gecko to lower his car insurance deductible. Image attribution: “Flickr Madagascar Giant Day Gecko” by Nick Michalski.
Random guy that nobody knows still playing peekaboo with everyone at library. Image attribution: “bigthink.com”
Phil Spector unaware that birds have been nesting on top of his head for the past three weeks. Image attribution: “3.bp.blogspot.com”
Woman excludes approximately 98.2% of the male dating pool by stating that she is looking for a man who is both honest and caring. Image attribution: “Flickr Working on laptop” by Hans Kristian Aas.
Captchas are used to verify that you are an actual person and not an automated program or “bot.” Although they help to limit spam and increase online security, they are becoming increasingly difficult to read. A recent survey indicated that… Read More ›
A new horror film, “The Chase,” received poor reviews from local movie critics. The film opens with a young teenage girl screaming while running away from an unknown entity. The screaming and running continues uninterrupted for approximately 72 minutes. At… Read More ›
Father blow torches child’s toy in a last-ditch effort to open it after wrestling with the packaging for 4 hours. Image attribution: “Injury.com” This image was not altered.